“I Do”

When you say the words “I do” on your wedding day, you think you know what they mean. But, actually you don’t.

My husband and I have been married for 4 years but together since middle school. We have watched each other grow up and have been through many life experiences together. Right now we are in the trenches of parenthood. 2 boys, ages 3 and 1. And we are experiencing a new meaning to “I do” these days. A lesson we are learning rather quickly is that the simple words “I do” when used in parenthood, are usually followed by a task. And in our world, a task involving a toddler. Which translates to a task that should be super easy but turns out to be a pain in the ass.

For example, we’ve just gone through the hectic routine of loading the kids up for a trip to town. We have diapers, extra undies, books, toys, snacks, clothes, sippy cups, wipes, and whatever else we’ve grabbed on the way out the door. Before this point, we each wrestled with a child to get them dressed. A diaper change and a 5 minutes sit on the potty that resulted in nothing except the entire toilet paper roll unraveled on the floor. But now we are all in the car and ready to go! This is the part when we usually ask ourselves if in fact we do want to leave the house because we are already exhausted from the production it took to get us all in the vehicle. But we push on.

As we are pulling out of the driveway, I go through my usual list of questions to my husband. “Do you have your wallet?” He replies, “I do.” “Do you have your phone?” He replies, “I do.” “Do you have the list?” He replies, “I do.” Thankful that we haven’t forgotten anything I jokingly ask him in my most sarcastic tone, “do YOU need to go potty before we leave?” And from the backseat, in a sweet but apprehensive voice, our 3 year old says “I do!”

We sit for a moment in silence. Both of us practicing our deep breathing and not making eye contact. Both weighing our options. Both thinking, “Do I have more patience to take the toddler back in to the bathroom or sit in the car with the baby who will most likely scream until the car starts moving again?” Understanding that both situations are a pain in the ass, we finally look at each other ready to divide and conquer. “Do you want to take him back in?” “I do,” I say. I see the look of relief flood his face and I unbuckle and begin the process of rushing a kid to the bathroom.

In most scenarios like this, we will make it back to the car and carry on with our adventure to town. We will get the items on our list checked off and we will survive through the tantrums, the spilled snacks, and the endless questions from the backseat. We get home, feed and bathe the kids, and finally get them both down for the night. My husband and I snuggle in on the couch both making an effort to keep our eyes open and spend a good quality five minutes with each other before we start to drift off. “Do you want to watch an episode of something?” he asks. “I do, “ I say. He pushes play.

Minutes later, the baby is up and crying in his crib. “Do you want me to go deal with that?” he asks. “I do.” He gets up and bends down to kiss me on the top of the head, which means that he will end up laying down in our bed with the baby and they will both fall fast asleep. I wait for a few minutes before I get up to shut everything down and head to bed myself. Just before I get to our door, that sweet but apprehensive voice travels down the hallway. I go into his room to see what he needs, so tired and trying not to be annoyed. “Mommy, I want to snuggle wiff you. Do you want to lay with me?” And just like that, my tired heart melts into a puddle and instead of going to my big cozy bed; I will squeeze in next to my little guy and be forced to sleep in positions only a mother knows. So I answer him. “Yes, buddy. I do.”

~Sydney Allen, Mom to 2 sweet monsters.